Insomniac and a Dream

Being an insomniac sucks. I'm not sure what month it is most of the time, let alone what freaking day it is. Today is a Tuesday - I know this only because my alarm went off at 4:30am and I had a major panic attack that I missed class and work. Whoops! Now y'all have had those days where you wake up panicked, rush to get ready, and then realize you don't have to do what you were getting ready for. THAT'S ME ON THE DAILY! Seriously - my lack of sleep to ability to function ratio would disturb even the most educated sleep specialists and psychologists. I do pretty well on most days, and function on the level as the average American adult does, but when I've finally hit my breaking point of pure exhaustive delirium it's obvious. Mostly I start to ramble and stutter, and the incomplete sentences are bad enough you'd think they are written in hieroglyphics. Oh, and the dreams...the crazy dreams that I have. On a regular night, I don't remember my dreams. When I get to this point they are vivid and my mind cannot separate them reality. Here's one I had recently, plus a little back story:

Mr.NattyLight and I met about one year ago. Shortly after I moved to Georgia (not to be with him, it was just part of my life plan). He and I spent quite a bit of time together, talking, and trying to figure out how to manage this friendship or relationship or whatever kind of future we are going to have long-distance. We talked and still talk about the future quite often but never really settle on anything. It usually ends up a few steps backwards. Then one night......

 

I had a dream. Holy balls did I have a dream. This dream was the most incredible, mind-boggling dream that I'd had in a long time. I woke up the happiest girl in the world y'all until I realized it was a dream. The most perfect Southern/Northern wedding had just happened. Picture this: Big Southern waterfront plantation, moss covered trees everywhere, the weather was sunny and gloriously perfect. Me in my big white dress and cowboy boots. Mr.NattyLight so dapper and handsome in his tux. All of our friends and family were there and the could not have been more perfect. This dream felt like it went on forever and was never going to end. The perfect vows, the perfect first dance, the perfect music, country stars twinkling in the Southern sky after the most perfect Sunset over the water. And we sailed off into a dream life of being happily ever after.

THEN - I wake up. And literally had to lay in bed for an hour to figure out what the fuck had just happened. I had just moved back to Minnesota from Georgia so was still trying to adjust from that so this confused the living hell out of me. Yeah, I'm crazy - I'm aware. But I was the happiest damn girl on the planet until an hour later when I realized my dreams wanted to play a cruel joke on me. I called me best friend (Southern Belle) and told her about this - her response "Was I in the wedding?" DUH! So after long days of studying, working, and lack of sleep this is the punishment I get from my mind. Well brain you succeeded in making me look crazier than I already am.

Oh and by the way - that dream will be a reality on day. It may or may not be to Mr.NattyLight, but I hope it is. And hey, a girl can dream right?!?!!

XOXO from the North
~Northern Star