Unicorns

OH! 

Just to add to my last post....

 UNICORNS DO EXIST... 

Suck it world.
*Southern Belle

A Gift of Pop

As I titled this post I had the intention of it being part of a gift to Northern Star. However I realized it is much more than that.

She is a gift.

This girl has changed my life. Changed my way of thinking. Changed my way of communicating. Changed...Everything. 

She came into my world at a time where I thought I was melting. I never admitted that to even myself at the time. We became friends with just one word.... POP. Only people in the midwest could understand the signifigance this word can be in someones life. Born and raised just south of Atlanta, I should have looked at someone oddly when asked for a POP. Having a mother from Ohio though, I knew instantly what I was being asked for. I fell in love with the fact someone else had said a word that others had looked at me oddly for saying. We had a strange moment of bonding over this simple three letter word, and from then on it was CHAOS.

  

We spent the next six months attached at the hip. If I was there she was there. Neither of us would have it any other way. 

During our time spent together we realized that the two of us have something in common that most people do not. The death of our fathers. Each of our fathers passing was under much different circumstances but left us both feeling the same. Lost, sad, nostalgic, but most importantly it left us feeling STRONGER. Now don't get me wrong, that strength was not immediate. That strength had to be learned over time. 

Anyways this post is not about fathers. TRUST ME, that will come later.

This post is me letting Northern Star know how much she means to me. The gift from her I received in the mail today was beyond perfect. A book which I will read and pass on to someone deserving, (I have just the right person in mind) two CDs, and of course a card that makes me laugh every time i glance at it. 

The words of one song sent me into tears as soon as they were sung by the beautiful Shawna Thompson....

This life would kill me, if I didn't have you.

I know this sound so extreme to some, but to those that know us it probably makes perfect sense. Yes, we have an odd relationship. Yes, we seem like we are the same person. Yes, we act like we can't live without the other. If I am being honest I would have to say in the real world...we would in fact, be able to survive without each other. I can't imagine that ever having to happen though. She and I were placed in each others life for some God only knows reason. Probably to drive my mother mad with worry that we are out with whoever we met at the bar that week, or getting into some crazy drunk sunday-funday mess with our family of beautiful gay men we seem to collect in our life. Either way this girl is my world. My best friend. My sister. 

She has recently moved back to Minnesota for a while. 1100 miles away from here. Here. Atlanta. A place I call her home, despite the constant reminder from the people around me that, "She is from Minnesota, not here. That is her home" I GET IT PEOPLE! But I call bullshit. Home is where happiness lies. We all know she can only be happy if I'm around. :) (Only joking...sorta)

I know she will be back eventually. Every time I become sad that she is away, I'm reminded of her nomadic spirit I admire so much and laugh to myself because there is no way in HELL she is staying in that Arctic tundra. 

So to wrap everything up I thought Id just tell Northern Star a few things....

1. Tea and Quilt mornings are much needed, even if it is over skype.
2. Country music, Summer hits of the 90's and Ke$ha isn't the same without you in the car singing with me
3. Jack and Stella still keep great company
4. I'm becoming way more aggressive towards people without you here to handle situations.
5. Im still wearing my north face and leggings like its appropriate day wear any where I go.

Thank you for my gifts. 

I love you to the country stars and back 

and just know,

You can always come home

Oh and don't worry anyone, we are still causing trouble wherever we go. We just are doing it in more than one state now. Just be lucky you only have to deal with us one at a time for a while. :)

*Southern Belle

You're projecting

Stop trying to control the situation. You can't force something to happen and you can't force someone to do something. Especially if the ball is in their court. Most likely they are scared. This is a life changing decision. So just Stop. Stop projecting what you WANT to happen and what you NEED to happen on them and the situation. Trust. Trust that it will work out. Trust when they tell you to trust. Take a step back, take a deep breath and Trust in the plan of fate and destiny. Just stop projecting and Trust.

~Northern Star

When I'm four

Sitting outside of work reading my beloved copy of "Running with Scissors", I heard a family walk by. Two little girls and a mother. One of the little girls ran ahead and I imagined what she was running after, or away from. I'm sure only something a small child's imagination can bring them.

However, she wasn't the one that caught my eye. Her sister, struggling to keep up with her mother said, "you know, I'll be better when I'm four."

This small three year old said something so wise and she will never understand why. I feel like we as adults say this same thing to ourselves over and over. "I'm young I'll stop acting crazy when I'm older" or "I know I can't pay my rent but I'll just order one more drink and start saving tomorrow."

We are always seeking some kind of justification for the things we know are wrong. I'm guilty of it and so are you.

Do we ever stop? I'm going to think this over. I was just humored by the fact that children and adults are not that different in their way of thinking.

*Southern Belle

The Gays and One Straight Black Man

My Southern Friends. A few of the most amazing people in my life!

~Northern Star

Nomad

First off, I hate being an insomniac. Second, I hate feeling this way. Third, I'm feeling a bit RED so pay attention! http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/taylorswift/red.html

So, Mr.NattyLight asked me today if I was finished moving. Oh, what a complicated question. It really doesn't have to be, it requires a simple yes or no answer. Not for me, because since August 2011 I have moved SEVEN times! It just happens..it's my lifestyle right now.

Truthfully, I haven't found that place that feels just right yet, that place where everything in the world is right. Minnesota will always be my "home" so to speak. It's where I'm from and part of a who I am. BUT, Georgia will also have a special place in my heart and be a different kind of "home."

My nomadic lifestyle has led to this thing some would call commitment issues. Maybe I have commitment issues because, ah who the fuck cares, I just do. I actually have a pretty strong feeling as to why I can't commit and it has to do with one person. That one person that feels like home. But that home is in a perpetual cycle that I have deemed the revolving door.

So moving has become a part of my life. I have been back in Minnesota for two months, and still haven't unpacked even half way. I probably won't. I'm plotting my next escape out of this place. I want to explore the world, but at the same time Do I hope it will be back in the South? You're dame right I do. Do I hope that my revolving door stops revolving and turns into the solid door to my home? Hell yes. Do I think it will happen? No. but I can hope.

~XOXO Northern Star

Enchanted

There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired lonely place

Walls of insincerity,
Shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

 

~~Northern Star~~